Me? A boob job? NO!

Plastic surgeon appointment. I waited for 20 minutes at the slowest elevator on earth. The waiting room was full of people who were in the office for anything from botox for incontinence to eyebrow lifts and chin tucks. I never thought I would be here, it isn’t who I am. I don’t care so much about appearances. I just wanted practical, every day boobs.

“Clothes off from the waist up please.” She handed me a gown. Seventh time I had heard that throughout this journey. There was a flurry of measuring certain distances from nipples and so many letters and numbers chattered to the record keepers. Next, photos. “Don’t worry, your face won’t be in these so you don’t have to smile.” Um, okay, I wasn’t going to.

I was standing at another tree trunk of opportunities. If I choose a lumpectomy, she can rearrange breast tissue to give me a smaller breast and lift me up. “Do you fix the other one to match it?” “Of course!”

If I choose a mastectomy, there are the options of having implants (something about smooth rather than textured because textured has been shown to cause a strange lymphoma that disappears when you take out the implant) or using your own tissue to create a breast shape. Then she asked if she could see my tummy to determine if that tissue could be used. Huzzah! It could be used, but only for one breast. I guess if I was fatter, they could get two breasts out of it….

Just think – a free tummy tuck with a boob job. Lucky me. But wait, I should be looking for a silver lining. I guess that’s it.

The surgeon kept asking me if I wanted to see the binder of boobs. No, I still don’t. It must have been written all over my face how uncomfortable I was because she asked if I was done with all the information I had heard for the day. I admitted, yes.

Upon reporting to my other mom friends at pick up that other tissue could be used to re-make a boob, they started lining up choosing which parts of their own body they could donate to the Boob Cause. That way, there would always be a part of them with me.